rough draft of a notion of love as philosophy or process

aka: i don't necessarily know how to communicate how much I mean it when I say "I love you"

"I've been ruminating", as I say frequently when trying to explain something (I've been wishing to curb my habits of self-conscious self-reflexivity, but alas), the idea that love exists as one of the eternal orthodox virtues. This was spurred an attempt of mine to read, comprehend and discuss the content of Michel Foucault's article "What is Criticism?" for the 101-level communications course I tutor. It was through my struggle to do so that I conceptualized notions of love that I propose in this piece.

Within a tutorial class I ran, (as a strategy to motivate oneself to study and understand academic material) I proposed a notion of "love" as a practice of understanding and comprehension, based on Jeff Rosenstock's claim that "Love is worry," and the Umineko meta-witchian perspective that "Without love, it can not be seen."

The central principle of my philosophical notion is this: to worry is to love, and to worry is to understand: thus the process of trying to understanding itself is an act of love. You must only try, in the earnest sense. Nothing can be understood without an intention to love. Even one's failure at their attempts to understand is a process of love. This means to hate remains as an act of love, however contorted that sounds; the true loveless acts are those of apathy. It's one thing to say "I don't care!" but it's the worst sin and affront to "love" to actually mean it.

To return to the original source of my ruminations - the process of understanding is only mediated by what has come before. As Tsubasa Hanekawa once said: I don't know everything, I only know what I know. There is yet much to criticise about this notion of love. There is much to trial and execute.

love does not remain an entire arbiter of truth and virtue - or at least we should remain to critique that notion, after all: love can lead you to a white and soundless place
my framework of love allows for the validation of destruction and harm
guidance of love like this ends up for girls like me to love their girlfriend as their sister. i must continue to question what love is; to destroy the notion that it as an infallible form of virtuous governance.

but I love the concept of love,
and to love is worry,
and without love, it cannot be seen