biscuit's dreaming; clouds above its head

i wanted to give you a moment and a moment is all that I can give the upside down sky is so blue from where I lay on my bed so i wait until a bird enters the frame and click, click, click saved in my memories something to see, something to taste, something to smell, something to hear, something to feel just a moment, just a night, just a day, just week, just a month, just a year, just forever, just a moment fleeting moments of joy and sensation and my body will remember  those fleeting moments forever  

the last time I saw her to learn to play cards, she had a big red bump on her forehead the young sixteen year old girl must be going through some life defining stuff right now I wonder if she's figuring out who she is? I wonder if she did some bad stuff that will come to haunt her years in the future? I hope she's doing okay I imagined a little flower sprouting out of her forehead today I woke up feeling my entire age of 20 and saw a red bump on my forehead I downed a cup of glass of painkillers and took a handful of water and rushed to the bathroom mirror and with two balled up fists I squeezed the red bump out like any other zit and out burst a spike of a bony like mound i just realise now that this is kinda like what happens in flcl

I opened up my arms just loose enough to know she could go anytime she wanted and I closed my arms just tight enough to know she could stay for as long as she wanted I wondered if she felt the same brand of loneliness I did Through the autumn coloured sweater that hugged her skin so tight, her shoulder blades poked out like stumps of little angel wings I felt everything that she pressed against my body, every twitch, every soundless sob, every breath I wondered if my arms were enough to protect an angel

being an adult and opening up to people and their families means to eat more mince  and their gluten free bread and talk politics and eat a lot of mince, I had forgotten the taste I see my own face in the salad bowl I avoid eye contact of the adults in the room and I smile a honest smile I can

on Monday, you mailed me your ring finger on Thursday, you mailed me your thumb on Sunday, well, the post doesn't show up on Sundays; your index finger showed up on Monday morning the week after, you started sending me pieces from your feet, your ears; your tongue still was warm when I held it in my palm I accumulated so many little bits and pieces of you the package at my door step this morning, I can see it pulse and beat the brown paper is stained with dark wet patches It's wrapped up in twine "This is something so important of mine." I'm not sure if I want to open this package from you you'd probably hate it if I never ended up opening it but I'm thinking of mailing it back to you because you don't need to prove your bodily integrity to me words are enough, words are enough

  The three of us sat around the bathroom, with your dirty smoking apparatus passed around "You two look like an indie movie." I held you in my arms and pretended to be living a Gregg Araki film No embellishments Nothing fake, just you, me and the camera Like I'm a believer in Dogme95 Just turn off the lights and let the digital camera noise fill the screen The camera zoomed on our faces, capturing every little bit of melancholy on our faces And in our minds, the most spectacular colors and thoughts Never to be caught on tape Your arm bled, your arm bled all the way down your pretty pink dress And I pulled a thing of cotton cloth from under my skirt To put pressure on your bleeding arm, your arm bleeding all the way down your pretty pink  dress We had enough needles around to recreate the room in Saw II We held each other whilst all the worlds in the universe converged in our minds The camera doesn't see it But I see it all in your eyes Sparks flying, stars burning up...

bite that hard, its fine to draw blood  and make me scream your name happiness is a battle and im on the verge of death with your jaw, your powerful hungry jaw in my neck go for the juggular choke me with your teeth your great big canine teeth let my sighs ring out throughout the room when i stare into my little mirror let me run my fingers around the side of my neck feeling for vampire bites your great canine teeth let me feel the moist spots on my neck and let me lie to you that it doesn't hurt

They said it was a costume party. So I was wearing a costume. Except no one else was wearing a costume. Everyone was themselves. The dress code was contemporary adult.  I was wearing the pink sailor schoolgirl uniform I had since high school. Sitting on the couch, alone surrounded by strangers and a couple people I knew from work.  I was mortified that I let myself dress this way, in front of people who didn't know me. Bad first impression, bad assumptions to be made. So I sat miserably with my chin in my palms staring at the party, playing loud generic drum and bass, something you would hear at one of the clubs in town that I don't go to. "Come and dance, it'll make you feel better" said [].  I danced weakly to the music. I wasn't enjoying myself. [] got swept up with the others, and I was yet again alone. The speaker was left unattended, so I surveilanced the party before analyzing the speaker controls. What was in my playlist that vaguely sounded in place a...