biscuit's dreaming; clouds above her head

i tap my foot vaguely in rhythm imperfect in quantization - i am human sometimes i don't really know what they're even singing, sometimes i just try to mimic the sound and pray that it sounds like what they're saying. i'm embarassed that i don't know. i'm even more embarassed of being scared of looking like that i don't know. i press my lovense domi 2 against my ribcage at an angle to hear it perform little paradiddles on my bones and i hug the doll that i mentally project you onto against my fat little stomach i already know you would tell me off for calling myself fat, i know but i have to listen to my body, i have to listen to my heart all this practice and training and dreaming to become something past human fuck, give it up! i am human - now what?

i wrap my arms around you  just because I can't think of any other way to try to hold you together this world isn't gonna hold me I'm gonna break free I have to let go eventually  and all things fade quietly into the day by day that's the bite mark from jaws that have kissed much flesh and the golden signature on my clothes but my love burns so hot and bright  it's incinerating itself from the inside and I'm gonna break free  they're gonna snuff me into white ashen stains into the concrete I wish I could sleep with you forever in this white and soundless place but you'd break free and escape without me I'm gonna miss you when you're gone  I'm gonna miss you when you go for a while For a day or so For a week or two  For a month or three  For close to four years For forever Or even for a moment I'm gonna miss you though I've never once seen you I'm gonna miss you the day this world can't hold you And you break free