every girl's god given right to cut their own bangs

it's every girl's god given right to haphazardly trim away their bangs in the mirror in a manic daze

to bring the scissors too close to your eyes, but that's how they do it, that's how they do it

deliberate every snip with a sense of doubt and regret

I wish for this to be perfect, I wish I was perfect

it's every girl like me's god given right to feel a feeling you can't describe

like the immense weight of living crashing onto you like thick hands smothering your mouth and nose 

like a punch in the face

like being yelled at by your parents as a kid

like the first time you smoked a joint

like waking up to find your self harm scars from seven years ago healed almost entirely - only to be a little disappointed

it's every girl like me's god given right to stare into themselves in the mirror and cut their bangs with dull three dollar scissors 

as their stubble you had thought you had spent all this damn money to laser off leers at you

you can only leer back, you can only grin and sneer and bare your teeth at, what the fuck is it that other people see? what the fuck is it in this mirror that other people see?!!! 

damn, so this is what your girlies back in high school was going through while you were pouting and whining about god knows what?! bleaching their hair, chopping the edges, burning and singeing 

only through such a self-consciously selfish act are you aware of how terrible you are

is it a girl's god given right?! 

it's a girl's god given right to have a manic episode cutting her bangs in front of the mirror while high on drugs