girl in kyoto


woke up bleeding a little

i had a dream last night that I stumbled upon an old friend, someone who used to be really important to me's new social media accounts through friend recommendations on tiktok

what a scarily real dream

and they were doing okay from the looks of it


i'm in a complete daze

i'm frustrated, i'm tired, i'm sick.

i keep so quiet on the express train

i'm buried in my phone and i'm digging through friends of friends of friends' lists

i've done this many times and yet it never bears fruit

and i finally come to dragging my feet in a flat, rustic looking town

oh, we're in kyoto now


i can't see above me very well with this big snoopy hat in the way

the phoebe bridgers song is all that comes to mind when i leave the station

the one with the silly music video

i'll kill you if you don't beat me to it


witch's house on the corner

marketplace at the temple

white snake in the caravan

katana and antique sake bottles 

each day in this country has been wonder and misery


my camera broke off its strap and bounced off the concrete

now the monitor doesn't work


I have to shoot blindly now


I don't look forward to figuring out how to repair my dt 880s when I get back home


everything seems to be breaking down recently


I might even accidentally drop my phone in the bath as I write this


shame on me for dreading having to fix things


I should've never left akihabara


kyoto would be so nice to walk around at night with music


I always stare at the cigarette prices at the konbini


wow, the equivalent of three dollars for a pack


my long coming cigarette addiction would be so easy to start here, I think


I could go outside when during the night is coldest


squat like a delinquent, and light one up


watch the smoke dissipate in the winter air


of course, I don't buy a pack as much as I want to


to start smoking will be a punishment for myself


so I want to pay the price in new zealand, not the three dollars here


and besides, when I start


I will never tell you


you won't ever know that I've started smoking

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