kitty cat meow meow spontaneous combustion

I'm volatile, I think of you sparks fly in my mind when I curl up like a collapsing star haah haah haah haah haah I think of you

the way your hips curve
i want to hold you in my palms
i love the way you treat me like a dog
ive always hated being treated as a god
ive always hated being treated as human
fuck, I never want to hurt you
I never ever want to hurt you
haah haah haah haah how could I?
haah haah haah haah how dare I?

your melancholy gaze as we lay in bed
the memory is burnt in my mind
the way your hair draped over your face
the way your messy bedroom had turned sideways
the way the world at that moment was illuminated by coloured LED lights
your bare shoulders, my god your bare skinned shoulders
the framing of this memory cuts off right before your breasts
your eyes looked at me
and then you gazed at no man's land
your eyelids hung low
i could see the corners of your lips lose all strength
click click, snap snap
I fell so deeply in love just then

every anxious voice in my head goes silent when I stare at you
oh me oh my, I love you, I really do
I've truly deluded myself
this is the one feeling I can't pretend to do
I fell so deeply in love with you as if you had put a curse on me
haah haah haah haah haah I think of you

my head is about to explode
haah haah haah haah haah
white powder funneled into my nose
like building a pipe bomb in my own head
haah haah haah haah haah
there's something volatile rising to my throat
clawing and scraping from the insides of my neck
haah haah haah haah haah
my head is about to explode
when it does, all comes out is your name
haah haah haah haah haah I think of you