stuck in palmerston north thinking about yesterday

fat tears hit the metal counter with a loud thud

like a palm being struck against the face

I cried for a hour straight at work the other day

It took them half a hour to notice that I was crying into the food

they sent me on break and told me to drink a cup of water

my tears were thick and heavy

and my face felt like it was smothered by the ocean's tide and dried up in the hot hot sun

why is there a huge oversized bench here in the palmy square

me and my little lila plush sit there

and I watch my hair flow in the wind

i feel so gentle in the breeze 

the leaves hiss

goddamn, I feel small

goddamn, I feel so small and alone

goddamn, I am so small

the clocktower rings a minute early when 12pm passes

in the cold showers I take after work 

there's always the taste of blood in my mouth

I don't know why, I don't know how

i push my hair back to wash out the shampoo

water hits the metal floor with a loud thud

like a palm being struck against the face

I'm going back to Hawera again today

and there will be strangers in my house

I'll be exchanging platitudes

goddamn, I feel like I don't belong

goddamn, I feel so small and alone

goddamn, I am so small

I'm stuck in Palmerston North for another hour

goddamn