i'm not gonna be


dog at the door
on my hands and knees
waiting for you
I'm deeply in love with you
but this gentle silence is killing me
I'm dying slowly

the language on my tongue
losing control
I can't speak

I feel shame when I try to find comfort in your arms
I'm shamed to silence

the grip of my index finger and thumb
losing control
I can't draw

straddling on top of you
lightly pressing against your naked stomach
waiting for you to wake
I'm deeply in love with you
but this gentle silence is killing me
I'm dying slowly

there's jagged callouses on my fingertips
when I run them against your soft, soft skin

there's no greater fantasy that I dream of always than watching the glow of the sun light up your sleeping face in the morning
so why do I cry?
there's a feeling of hunger in my chest
in my ribcage
in the back of my throat
in my eyes

when you do wake,
and eventually you do,
I feel my soul back away
and stare at you from a distance

I think I should tie a brick to my ankle
sit gently just at the edge at the water
think of you
think of you
think of you
stop thinking of you

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