genmaicha [UNFINISHED, TOO LAZY TO FINISH]

it looked like I was heading into the forest on the horizon

the walk down to their house from the bus stop

I woke in the middle of the night

apparently I was speaking japanese in my nightmares 

I went to the bathroom 

shuffling from outside

and I thought with certainty,

that must be the cat

a faint drape of white cloth disappeared from the corner of the hallway as i left the bathroom

...

i walked the way back to the room

my eyes fixated on the floor

I hadn't noticed this room

the one with the door open just a crack

the one that had the faint outlines of legs and white gown

the one that suddenly clicked shut as soon as I passed by

...

i walked back to the room and crawled back into your bed

with your weighted blanket and large duvet

i felt like such a child just then

with milk and sugar, please

i told her when she asked in the morning

i ate every single grain from the stir fry

I promised to make plans to read marxist poetry

and we talked about the film we watched last night

i tried my best to remember everything i've read and studied about the showa period

i was no match for the girl who talked in a slow crawl

and thought so intently about the words she said

like a meditative trance

it looked like adulthood was on the horizon