biscuit's dreaming; clouds above its head

[PHOTO TBA]  big fountain drink, you can tell the ice  was frozen with water from the tap, yeah, tastes real nice you're going home four days early, you're going home already, you're going home, aren't you ecstatic, aren't you ecstatic to review the footage aren't you ecstatic to see that everything is the same? have you had enough to drink? have you had your fill? have you? there is not anything,  not anyplace that's really,  that really is a retreat [as part of the "field research: united states (august 2026)" series]

[PHOTO TBA] all your excesses try to justify itself here grow many arms and grasp wildly slump over and hike up your mask get ready to chop off some heads when you return home you're gonna wake up with a thirst for blood, yes, come to play, but you may find the rules a little strict.   [as part of the "field research: united states (august 2026)" series]    

[PHOTO TBA] order number 143 dragon fruit dripping down the plastic cup through the crevices of the ice like blood, like purple-pink blood, little pieces of seed viscera, crunchy, sweet and stale shoulderless uniform that made little sense in the wellington temperature now finds its use here you freeze the air to stay awake, maybe three hours in I remember a memory of singing poorly to someone, and then I sneak a fraught smile at you miss the exit to battle ground, your remarks snide I've got pudding for a backbone, So do you! [as part of the "field research: united states (august 2026)" series]    

[PHOTO TBA] well, you have to invite the little fly on the wall in, and forgive him for the buzzing. he'll, look at you strange, but it won't mean nothing some things are not worth losing your head over, and some things are; this is not one of them, or at least, I try to tell you without getting you defensive. the heat today isn't too unpleasant I usually try to find home in everything, but I don't feel that desperate here [as part of the "field research: united states (august 2026)" series]    

[PHOTO TBA]  It's 4am in the morning I'm listening to the opening scene of my favorite video game, kingdom hearts 1 the one where kairi wakes up sora on the beach after the station of awakening I whisper the whole scene under my breath, god, I used to wish I sound like Hayden Panettiere as a kid [as part of the "field research: united states (august 2026)" series]    

[PHOTO TBA] hospitality of people who are too affluent to feel like you owe them anything arbitrary thoughts of my father making me melancholic that's the biggest cat I've ever seen [as part of the "field research: united states (august 2026)" series]  

[PHOTO TBA] Little voyeur, little voyeur. Window shopping, Seeing what's in the neighbourhood. People watching, Ivy says I flip the viewfinder and watch like a vigilante To paraphrase previous findings: Once you stare at it too long, it starts to all look and feel the same   /// color paper receipts with advertisements, but at least they have paper bags paper tickets concrete carpark gaudy warning signs in impact font and to the imagination mesh clothing leaves nothing for you I pull my camera out, because these moments mean something and I promise you, I don't have foul intentions for you says the pervert with questionable morals [as part of the "field research: united states (august 2026)" series]

[PHOTO TBA] You wonder if this is gonna happen with every person Point and shoot / last thing you see Little dots of light all across the horizon, Like driving in the night sky Once you get back to the dollhouse, You should go out to play more. And you do a double take at the headlines from back home American things happening at the little slice of America [as part of the "field research: united states (august 2026)" series] "field research" are little travel logs/meditations - this set has its themes arise out from observing other trans women and the tensions that come from me self-imposing a role as an observer, a fly on the wall with a camera. it has been done before. the previous field research series (the japan poems) focused on something like urban disillusionment in spite of everything that is novel and strange. there is some of that here.

i am sitting behind yet another layer of observational practice as i watch you amble around set, capturing bullshit with non-existent steadiness in your grip and no sense of framing. i tick past each 10 second clip - passing judgements - this says nothing - this is cute - this is worthless - this is interesting. i have all the time in the world to decide - you had no choice but to be quick on your feet. watching these moments and being made to curate them - were you lonely? sorry to impose, but i would be. 

the taste of carcinogens on your tongue, you caress your bag strap, because no one else is around now playing: love love love by the mountain goats