biscuit's dreaming; clouds above her head

  The three of us sat around the bathroom, with your dirty smoking apparatus passed around "You two look like an indie movie." I held you in my arms and pretended to be living a Gregg Araki film No embellishments Nothing fake, just you, me and the camera Like I'm a believer in Dogme95 Just turn off the lights and let the digital camera noise fill the screen The camera zoomed on our faces, capturing every little bit of melancholy on our faces And in our minds, the most spectacular colors and thoughts Never to be caught on tape Your arm bled, your arm bled all the way down your pretty pink dress And I pulled a thing of cotton cloth from under my skirt To put pressure on your bleeding arm, your arm bleeding all the way down your pretty pink  dress We had enough needles around to recreate the room in Saw II We held each other whilst all the worlds in the universe converged in our minds The camera doesn't see it But I see it all in your eyes Sparks flying, stars burning up

there's a discount for second hand goods they are worth less there's no loss in profit from disposing of used goods the place where i belong this way up

im inventing new ways to die ways to die that no one ever has done before im inventing new ways to die something without guilt something without pain something without you burning isnt enough falling isnt enough drowning isnt enough i need to die spectacularly but just for my own eyes my descent into oblivion  im inventing new ways to die im daydreaming for a world that doesnt matter where goodbye doesnt mean anything im inventing new ways to die goodbye goodbye goodbye and thank you

I always was a big fan of the quintessential Mountain Goats doomed romance indie folk album It was the transitional crossing over of the band's sound into hi-fidelity  I loved it as a young teen thing Dreams of the mysterious and dangerous thing called love Dead fish The engulfing swamp  The rural countryside The sound of buzzing and humming Creaking and breathing floorboards Burning homes And I promised John that I would never find myself in the shoes of the characters he condemned I've never set a foot in that Florida town But I'm on a pilgrimage tour of that album Because my home is burning I set it on fire I set it all on fire, with us both in the house What's the opposite of enlightment? I took John's word as gospel, and now I've been endarkened I'm on a pilgrimage tour

WORK! WORK! WORK! YOU FUCKING STUPID THING! As you smack the top of the CRT I whimper without any noise coming from my mouth If I made as much as a squeak, you would deem me broken as well I hate when your cracks show like this I hate when I learn to love people from you I hate when you swear at inanimate objects Why do you hate them so? Why do you hate me so? I'm a little older now and I'm yelling angry terms of endearment at the person across of me I fucking love you so Where the fuck are my socks? You didn't put the right HDMI cable in the goddamn flatscreen I can't fix you if you don't fucking tell me your problems My dreams of love are intertwined with destruction I will fix you by holding you so goddamn tight I will crush your head until the shine in your eyes is nothing but static I will twist your arms until they click into place I've had a terrible day and your love is my only cure So let me love you You fucking broken thing

bite that hard, its fine to draw blood  and make me scream your name happiness is a battle and im on the verge of death with your jaw, your powerful hungry jaw in my neck go for the juggular choke me with your teeth your great big canine teeth let my sighs ring out throughout the room when i stare into my little mirror let me run my fingers around the side of my neck feeling for vampire bites your great canine teeth let me feel the moist spots on my neck and let me lie to you that it doesn't hurt

Four hours of sleep Two things of spiro One can of caffeine battery acid A good sprinkle of the slightly burnt decarbed weed in the peanut butter filling of my little Bluey biscuit sandwich Three shots out of a Daiso sake cup of Nitro, the Redline flavor And bleach fumes from the Blingo hoodie corroding the last brain cells that keep me strong  I cut my own holes into my sleeves to poke my thumbs out of Eyeliner, lots of it Too much of it With my amateur heavy, shaking and twitching hands I keep my head down, hands in pockets when I march my way into town To the bright colors of the Cuba Street Mall  And I feel my blood hum And I live

I look like a disaster with my hair like this Back hunched like a cat hurt one too many times My dark eyes glazed with paranoia Wary of the early afternoon traffic Today is unbareably sweltering in my coat I'm twitching and unsure But your visage and the smell of your fur on my little sweater Like an energy converter Could make every nervous twitch a soaring leap And land on my feet These are my kitty cat meow meow halcyon days And when the sun sets I will say, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye And thank you

it was your signature dish churned up and disfigured into a mass , lumps , dregs of filth the only person that would be around was at the next town over for the past few nights so I stumbled into the bathroom in a daze and heaved and hacked and it spilled all out in modest quantity a thin puddle of peach whiskey and so I drooled the rest of the spittle out I went to wash my hands by the clean clean sink only to whip my head back towards once an unexpected mass , lump , dregs of your signature dish disfigured to all hell rose to my throat and without any heaving or hacking pooled out horizontally against the toilet rim and and oozed out like chilli chunks and drops on the floor , against the wall and I stared with a flash of emotions of shock , of despair and then being sick and tired of myself all in the span of two seconds I dropped down to my knees , toilet paper scrounged up in my hands as I instinctively began to wipe and clean up all the scattershot chunks of vomit off t

we the miracle ones you happened I happened we the miracle ones wait and wait for the miracle to happen the miracle one got close to the bright, bright light and cast a dark, dark shadow and the miracle other gets engulfed by the darkness all because they wait and wait for a miracle to happen "the closer you get to the light, the darker your shadow becomes."

Being good all my life would not make me happy Or so I thought I would be free I would be as terrible as they told me I was I would do every rotten thing I could to know my life was mine and free  But I am terrible as I tell myself I am I do every rotten thing I could do and I still feel trapped My god, my god, what have I done to you? How could what I thought was love hurt you like this?  I should be forced and tortured into submission to never dream again I don't think this cartharsis is enough I think I need to die

I spot you at the usual place I approach with caution, with caution and a tempered heart, with caution. Are you growling? Are you purring? I can't make a single word of what you say Though I listen so intently like its the only sound in the world And you cozy up by my leg for a while And you let me feel your fur Your prim and proper fur And you let me mess up your fur Because you lick yourself clean and brush your own fur Someone must love you very much

tsumugi sarah found herself dragging her left heel heavier on the ground in the LED city where no one was there to see the lights she dreamed of the night that would surely come where her kind and benevolent god would disassemble each building with his great wrath a young 19 tsumugi sarah took out a cigarette and a flask of something whatever  and stared into the blinding cascading oblivion huffed and swallowed and breathed out the last sigh of the night

So, I saw myself through your eyes and I STILL thought I looked ugly And so I asked, what makes you think I'm so pretty? And you said, "Because you see me with your own eyes." So, I thought of myself through your mind and I STILL thought I was boring And so I asked, what makes you think I'm interesting at all? And you said, "Because you think of me with your own thoughts." So, I kissed myself with your lips, and I STILL was disgusted by the taste And so I asked, what makes you think my mouth is so soft and sweet? And you said, "Because you kiss me, with the kisses of your own mouth." So, I strangled myself with your hands, and I STILL was repulsed by the touch And so I asked, what makes you think I'm worth anything? And you said, "Because you hold me with your own hands." So, I tried to love myself through your own heart, and I STILL hated myself And so I asked, what makes you think I deserve any love? And you said, "Because it&#

The land, sky and sea I braved I trekked through many lands, of green grass and concrete-scapes, of seaside docks, of tropical beaches, I braved I soared through the one big sky of this world, I braved Through the terminals I braved The men at the gate even put me through a test of worthiness Just to see you... you Stay safe, young brave explorer You picked me up from the airport and we rode in the backseat as we roared down the highway, the longest highway I've ever seen The world was much bigger than I expected We made promises and plans to brave the world To climb on top of trains in the middle of the night To find ghosts in dilapidated apartments To find the remnants of lost civilizations When I came home, I had a dream Where I lay in an open coffin Where I was sunk in the warm warm ocean Buried and still breathing Sunk and still breathing Where I felt my skin rot And I saw the sun so very far away, so futilitily far away The sun from the bottom of the ocean, like a pin prick o