biscuit's dreaming; clouds above her head

i've been thinking about it a lot, lately i know this cage has been set up intricately and immaculately over a long time but i've been thinking about it a lot, lately letting you go, maybe i thought about dying on your bathroom floor no, somewhere pretty? why bother set up a picturesque death nothing pretty about a dead girl with her brains on the ground left eye still open wide fuck, i need some sort of cartharsis whether its just an orgasm or brain death god, fuck, i need something  to take the ease off im so fucking sad and angry i need to be alone forever

it's a cloudless sky, yet no stars to be seen you haven't felt this way since you were fifteen hey, hey my beloved get up and move your arms and legs you can do it we love you we love you for the way you can move your limbs to the bathroom hey, don't make me destroy your arms and legs every little bone in your body if you don't use them "her name is love," you explain as you make your way down to the bathroom you don't even stumble down the lightless hallway we're so proud of you you almost look a little disappointed at what you see in the mirror you should've killed yourself a long time ago is the only thought that runs through your head we love you so much there's a loud thump against the door like a body filled with blood and flesh kissing the concrete "no! occupied," you yell in fear you pull at your own tail like you were starting a lawnmower each tug pull opening up a tear gradually and painfully, you come to hold your own fluff

the streams from the water drain leaks shimmer dazzlingly down the road like the twinkling of gold dust the light transforms to a mint tinted shade as it passes through the translucent plastic walls of the walkway I walk at a brisk pace all the way home so my exposure to the sun is brief I spy the neighbour downstairs that I've never seen before and im sure they haven't seen me before neither it's a dull day, it's a dull one for sure and this feeling does not get any duller the cars driving from and to sound like distant tidal waves crashing and rising and falling and passing through hey man, im going home too you don't hear me crashing through the wind about it

dog at the door on my hands and knees waiting for you I'm deeply in love with you but this gentle silence is killing me I'm dying slowly the language on my tongue losing control I can't speak I feel shame when I try to find comfort in your arms I'm shamed to silence the grip of my index finger and thumb losing control I can't draw straddling on top of you lightly pressing against your naked stomach waiting for you to wake I'm deeply in love with you but this gentle silence is killing me I'm dying slowly there's jagged callouses on my fingertips when I run them against your soft, soft skin there's no greater fantasy that I dream of always than watching the glow of the sun light up your sleeping face in the morning so why do I cry? there's a feeling of hunger in my chest in my ribcage in the back of my throat in my eyes when you do wake, and eventually you do, I feel my soul back away and stare at you from a distance I think I should tie a brick to

alternative titles: autumn coloured angel shore-washed corpse / kitty cat meow meow forever and ever I know better than to look back when we part now Nothing but the back of your windswept head to see You've never looked back at me I can hear my heart break like ceramic when you whisper sweet nothings to me Pale white glazed clay hardened by fire Shattered so easy You're tired It's the most basic of things "Every now and then, you must have wanted to cry or scream or yell, 'Leave me alone!'" 一年がほとんど経ってました 一緒に彼女になりましたかな I like to pretend we are But I know I'm just pretending I run away to the pier when we get bored her autumn coloured angel bones washed onto the shore the crystals touching our noses as fine as the sand  pale mothbitten skin all over her thin chest I feel like such a child when I cut a small line for her scared of destroying her fragile little mind yet wishing for the tide to wash over both of our bodies as we lay deep in the hole We rev

I wear modestly girly clothes as not to make myself feel uncomfortable I buy modestly priced things as not to make myself feel poor I cook modestly delicious fried rice and fish as not to let myself get hungry I be modest yet honest with my doctors about how much sex I have as to satiate their invasive questions I drink a new flavour of energy drink as not to let myself get tired It's too hot today as I exhaustedly melt into the floor each minute turns into a slow crawl like a snail crawling on the edge of a razor blade as marlon brando would say I feel myself quietly dying so slowly we tear into eachother with our teeth and claws when we get hungry and I'm just trying to live like any regular person with a full stomach and a proper shape and form I just want to try to be modest

i swear a new curse upon myself this is my great punishment to myself I'm distracting myself from the disaster that comes after this i close my eyes so hard and pretend to be so small and weak i try to not use teeth there's a girl inside me who thinks the world of you there's a girl inside of me who doesn't think anything of you I try not to use teeth part of me hates myself for what I did to you way back then part of me hates you for not punishing me for what I've done to you I try not to use teeth hey, hey... I killed that boy for you, I killed that evil thing I took his neck and watched him go pale I pushed my thumbs up the soft part of his chin and watched his eyes go bloodshot and wet I opened my jaw wide and bit into his neck and crushed his little windpipe inbetwixt my teeth I clawed my way into his skin and flayed him with my jagged nails I jammed my heel into his skull until I heard a loud crack and the back of my heel caved into his brain i punished him fo

i was raised this way to make people watch me cry see how my eyes sparkle in the dark watch my teeth clench and my eyelids pried wide staring at your face in the dark it's not the light that hurts my eyes it's this awful air between us I was born to speed down a long, long highway stick my head out of the side of the convertible feel my hair sail in the wind watch as the layers of the city cascade in and out of eachother in parallax I want to be encased in resin while we're both lying in here I want to feel that feeling of suffocation forever there's a hot, hot sun up way in the sky that'll eventually set everything out to dry there's a horizon that stretches far, far forever and we'll meet there again someday together